Everyone Hurts, But Never Enough
by Alexandra. M.Productions
Summary: Meredith Grey doesn't know what to do. Her mother ruined her life, and the love of her life called it quits. What happens when she take a turn for the worst? Read to find out. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Here an new story. It was an idea so I decieded I would see what people though. Please read && review. (:**

**Chapter One: Broken Strings**

_Oh, it tears me up_

_ I tried to hold on but it hurts too much_

_ I tried to forgive but it's not enough_

_ To make it all okay_

_You can't play our broken strings_

_ You can't feel anything_

_ That your heart don't want to feel_

_ I can't tell you something that ain't real _

_Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse_

_ How can I give anymore_

_ When I love you a little less than before?_

_"Mom, Please!" Meredith begged her mom. Things were being thrown, hit, and kicked. Courageous sounds filled the old, two story house._

_"Meredith, we're you with him?"_

_"No." She shook her head._

_"Did you get in the car with him?"_

_"No."_

_"Let me see your phone." Her mother, Ellis, said as she ripped the phone out of her hands._

_"Mom!"_

_"I knew you lied. You are to never speak to that boy again. Nor see or be with him."_

_"Mom that's not fair!"_

_"Yeah. We'll neither is life Meredith, but we manage."_

_"He didn't do anything wrong!" She cried. Her heart being shattered._

_"I will let you say goodbye and that is it."_

_"Mom!"_

_"Now or never Meredith."_

That same conversation played over and over in her head as she rode to school. It was hummiliating being a sophmore, and your mom is driving and watching you from inside the car, making sure you are not talking to anyone you're not suppose to. Everybody either walked to school, or rode with their boyfriends.

_"Derek, I have to talk to you." She said as they stood in front of his car, outside her house. He was leaning on his car, just like he did after school._

_"Okay." He said to her. _

_"Um..."_

_"God Meredith just spit it out already." She looked up to meet his eyes. Eyes that were normally a perfect shade of baby blue, now that were turned a dark blue that was almost black._

_"What's your problem?" _

_"Meredith, it's over."_

_"Look I know...wait. What?" _

_"It's best we take a clean break. I can't deal with all this. With, with you. I'm just tired of all the stress and complications you bring to my life. The times we shared, well, are the times we shared. I'm done. It's finished. It's over."_

Tears formed in her eyes. She couldn't believe after 4 months of covering up and lying, he threw it all away. It was hilarious to her that no more that a week ago, she was riding in the passangers seat of his car, laughing and talking like they had been doing it forever.

_"I promise you, that I'll never leave you. You have my word, my heart."_

_"Meredith, you know I will always be here."_

_"Call me and I'll come get you. No matter what I'm doing or where I'm at."_

_"You're everything I am, and everything I need."_

Promises she trusted that he would have kept. It's was unbelievable to her, how conviencing he was. He could convience you to do or believe anything. _With the eyes and smile like he has though..._She thought_...he is very conviencing._

Before she knew it, she was getting out of the car, walking up to the school. She knew without even looking up that all eyes were on her. Ever since her and Derek started dating or whatever they were, she became talk of the school, and they became the two people everyone loathed. People were extremely jealous of what they had. Although now Meredith wished she could have saved herself some trouble.

She stole a glance over to were Derek and their friends usually sat before school. Everyone was there including Derek. Except this time, it seemed that someone new took Meredith's place. A tall, brunette, sat extremely close to Derek. It had been 3 days since she had seen Derek and their little 'Group'. Meredith noticed Cristina sitting slightly away from the table. They met eyes, and Cristina took off towards her. That's when a dark pair of eyes burned a hole right threw her. And so did 9 other recognizable faces. Her tear-stained face quickly looked away, and found Cristina threw the crowd. Finally, Cristina stood face to face with Meredith. Cristina gave her a sad smile and hugged her. They didn't speak. They turned and walked silently into school. Everyone else turned their heads, except Derek's who was still looking at the exact spot Meredith was just standing.

**So what do you think? Review and I'll update! (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you like it. I'm trying my hardest to shape this story into what I want it to be. Please review! (:**

**Chapter Two: Paradise**

_When she was just a girl_

_ She expected the world_

_ But it flew away from her reach_

_ So she ran away in her sleep_

_ She dreamed of para- para- paradise_

_ Para- para- paradise Para- para- paradise_

_ Every time she closed her eyes_

_ Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh_

_When she was just a girl_

_ She expected the world_

_ But it flew away from her reach_

_ And the bullets catch in her teeth_

_ The wheel breaks the butterfly_

_ Every tear, a waterfal_

_l In the night, the stormy night_

_ She closed her eyes In the night, the stormy night _

_Away she'd fly_

Meredith and Cristina silently walked down the halls. People watched as Meredith went to her locker, then walked to her first period class. She could here words spreading like wildfire. Everyone stopped to stare at the wreckage.

_"It's her own fault. Dating a senior?"_

_"Yeah. Why would someone like him go after a whore anyways. Pathetic."_

_"Look at her. She looks like she's been hit by a car."_

Meredith felt her eye's sting with tears. She promised herself before she got out of the car that she wouldn't cry. She would put up a wall and block everyone out. _That worked out well._ She thought to herself as she put her stuff down at her seat in the back and sat down. Izzie, April, George, and Alex all walked in. They all looked at her before going and finding seats across the room from her. She could hear them all talking, but couldn't understand what they were saying.

"Hey Mer." Alex said as he came and sat down by her.

"Hey." She mumbled. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"I heard what happened. With your mom and all. And Derek. We were told not to talk or saying anything to you. But screw that." He smiled.

"Why can't you talk to me?"

"Derek...he says that it's best for everyone to take a clean break. I don't know what's wrong with him lately. He's..." He couldn't finish before the bell rang.

"I'll just bring my stuff and come sit by you. Who cares what Izzie and them say." And with that he got up and got his stuff. He quickly moved back to the seat by Meredith, ignoring what the teacher said. Izzie and them just looked at her. Then looked away. She noticed Izzie had a sad smile on her face.

"Today students, we will be having a study hall. Tomorrow is your test, so I want to make sure everyone is fully prepared." Mr. Kane said.

_Ugh._ Everyone moaned as they all got their notes out and began studying. When everyone was quiet, and the teacher walked out in the hall, Alex turned back around and faced her.

"Okay, like I was saying. Derek has been weird and all. You say one thing about you or anyone and he goes off. Mark tried defending you this morning when you walked off with Cristina, and he got pissed quick. Mark blew him off and walked away." Alex sighed.

"I don't know what happened. I was going to tell him my Mom found out and that we were going to have to find some way to work it out, but he wouldn't even let me get there. He just said that he was tired of me, and all my drama. He basically said screw you and left."

"And now he's with Ashley..."

"Ashley?"

"Ashley Kaye."

"Seriously? Was that the brunette?"

"Yeah. She's a senoir. He said that she's good for him."

"It's been three days. Three days since we broke up. I was such a mess that I couldn't even come to school Friday because I looked like I had been hit by a bus."

"I know. Mark started talking shit about her right infront of her face. I don't know. Mark is totally on your side or whatever. To me, it's all stupid. I love you and all, but this is all..."

"Shit." Meredith smiled.

"Yeah." Alex smiled back.

They talked up until the bell rang, and they went their seperate ways. She watched as he waited for Izzie, April, and George by the door. She turned away and went back to her locker to get her stuff for the next class. She went to shut her locker, when she heard Mark down the hall.

"MER!"

Meredith turned to see Mark at the end of the hall. He smiled as he started running towards her. She shut her locker door, and met up with him.

"You won't believe how much I've missed you." Mark said as he gave her a hug.

"You too." She laughed.

"We have next period together don't we?" He asked.

"Yeah." She smiled as they took off down the hall together. Side by side.

...

"What the hell is your problem!" Cristina yelled as she walked into her second period class. She was beyond pissed.

"Excuse me?" Derek scoffed.

"You heard me well." Cristina said looking straight into his eyes.

"Look if it has anything to do with Mered..."

"Of course it has to do with Meredith! It has everything to do with Meredith. Everyone watched you make promises to her, and now we're watching you break them. Do you even think? And you sat there this morning and told everyone to s_tay away_ from her? You're taking her friends away? What the hell?" Cristina cursed.

"Look, it's a long story..."

"I've got time." Cristina smirked.

"Cristina, I don't want to explain. It was my choice to end things because I was just tired of it all. I needed a break." Derek confessed.

"I wouldn't believe that if my life depended on it."

"Well you best believe it." He said as the bell rang. Cristina stood there and looked at him before walking back to her seat.

"Asshole." She said under her breathe. Derek looked at her and rolled his eyes.

_If they only knew._ He said to himself.

...

"I hate her."

"Mark..." Meredith begged.

"I'm sorry. I hate her. She's doe-eyed, and a _bitch_!"

"Mark!"

"Okay I'll stop."

"Thank you."

"Don't you want to trash talk her? She's all over you man!"

"Mark, I love you but you sound gay." Meredith laughed.

"I don't care. She's stealing your spot and you letting her. What kind of name is _Ashley_ anyway?"

Meredith stopped laughing. She never really looked at it like that before. She was with Derek, and she was stealing practically all of her friends.

"I can't. I don't know what I did to make him _hate_ me. I remember, a week ago I was riding in the passengers seat of his Mustang laughing and talking about what our plans would be for when he went to college, and when I was still in school. Now, I've got my mother wishing I wasn't even born and _him _wishing we never even met. Telling me he's sick of me. And tired of the way I act. So yeah. I'm going to let her take my spot. For now, she can take my spot."

Mark sat there and looked at her, then looked away.

"It'll be okay Mer. Things will work itself out. Just one day at a time. And he doesn't hate you. He could never hate you. Did you ever think maybe there is some sort of reason behind him breaking up with you?"

"I can't think of anything I did wrong if that's what you mean."

"I don't know. I don't know what's going on with him. But I'm about to find out." Mark sighed.

**Review! (; And in no way do I have anything against the name Ashley. Just part of the story guys!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here you go. Derek's side of the story. Enjoy. (;**

**Chapter Three: Unthinkable (I'm Ready)**

_Moment of honesty_

_ Someone's gotta take the lead tonigh__t_

_ Whose it gonna be?_

_ I'm gonna sit right here_

_ And tell you all that comes to me_

_ If you have something to say_

_ You should say it right now_

_You ready?_

_You give me a feeling that I never felt before_

_ And I deserve it, I think I deserve it_

_ It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore_

_ And I can't take it_

_I was wondering maybe_

_ Could I make you my baby_

_ If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy_

_ If you ask me I'm ready _

"How was school?" Carolyn asked her son at the dinner table.

"Now you care."

"Derek..."

"Oh don't _Derek_ me. You really want to know how school went?"

"Yeah." She smiled.

"My life is _hell_ because of you. Because you made _me_ hurt the most important person in my life. Does it even matter how I _felt_ about her? How we felt about eachother. And I had no other choice but to tell everyone it was best not to hang around her because if not you would have picked everything up and moved!"

"Derek. She's a sophmore..."

"It was like we were doing something illegal." Derek yelled.

"Derek's right mom." Amelia said.

"Stay out of this Amelia." Carolyn said. "Look, that girl is _not_ a good influence on you. She was arrested for drugs Derek!"

"You don't know the whole story! That's not what...why do I even explain it to you. It's not like it makes a difference. Everyone has a past mom. Even _you._"

"I know that Derek..."

"Well a_ct_ like it. And you make me date that Ashley girl?"

"She'll be good for you..."

"Meredith was _perfect _for me."

"Would it be better if we moved?" She asked.

"I already said that wouldn't change a thing."

"Well it looks to me a move would be better."

"I won't go."

"Your ass is mine tell you eighteen Derek."

"Mom!" Kathleen yelled.

"I can't say he didn't deserve this. I mean, arrested for drug and under-aged drinking." Nancy smirked.

"Shut the hell up Nancy. I don't know who the hell you think you are but you don't know her at all." Derek cursed.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd! I will not allow you to talk to your _own_ sister that way. Just go to your room at stay there tell you can deal with the fact that you are _not_ seeing that girl." Carolyn said.

"How about I just leave?" He said as he got his jacket and keys, and walked out the door.

Carolyn looked at the door, then back at her girls.

"Go upstairs. I'll clean up tonight." She sighed.

The four sisters walked upstairs and to there rooms. Amelia watched out her window as Derek got in his car and left. She loved Meredith. She was one of the only ones that actually met her. She knew that all that stuff wasn't true about her. _She knew her mother was wrong._

...

Derek drove around town for an hour. He didn't want to go back to his house tonight. He just couldn't do it. He was so angry that he was afraid he would end up choking someone.

Yes, Meredith had a past. She got involved with someone she shouldn't have but she found a way out. It might have caused her something bad on her record, but least she was out. Derek accepted that. He knew Meredith wasn't a person that would just start doing drugs for the hell of it. He didn't get why Nancy said anything about under-aged drinking. She knew everyone in high school did it. Even him.

He continued driving tell he found himself turning onto Harper Lane. He droved down to a tall, brown, two-story house and parked his car.

_"So this is where you live?" Derek asked, smiling at her._

_"Yeah. Me and my Mom. Although she's never home." Meredith sighed._

_"I see." He said, standing outside on the porch of the old house._

_"Do you...want to come inside?" She asked._

_"Sure." He said as she opened the door._

_"This is the kitchen, laundry room, living room. Upstairs is my room and my Mom's room. This is were I spend most my time." Meredith said, walking over to the brown couch._

_"Yeah. We could spend our time here." He laughed as he walked over and sat on the couch beside her. She smiled and moved onto his lap._

_"We could defentently spend our time here." She said as Derek placed kisses along her jaw line and down her neck. _

Derek wondered if they would ever get back to that. Even though he was a senior, and she was a sophmore, they still had plans. He looked back at the old house and saw something moving from the kitchen window. _Meredith._ She had her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail, and was washing dishing. He figured that she was grounded because the Meredith he knew, would be on the couch. He noticed that her face was red, and her eyes were too. Pain spread all over his body as he realized she had been crying. He got one last glimpse of her before he started the car and headed home.

_Derek had all the windows rolled down. It was actually sunny for once in Seattle, so they decieded to go out and enjoy the day. Meredith was smiling away in the passenger's seat, singing to some song on the radio. She looked so beautiful and carefree. Like nothing in the world could bring her down. Not even her bitch of a mother. Derek thought. He turned the music down and she turned straight to him._

_"What was that for!" Meredith yelled._

_"Would you freak out if I told you I love you?" Derek asked._

_"I...Are you telling me you love me?"_

_"I think I am." He smiled._

_"Then I love you too." She said as she turned the music back up and starting singing again. Completely freaking out on the inside._

...

Meredith was in the kitchen washing dishes. She came to the terms that being grounded offically sucked. Her mother left her there with once again to fend for herself.

_"I've...Derek I've never done this before." Meredith said. Derek was slowy placing kisses on her shoulders, until she spoke._

_"You mean..."_

_"Yeah." _

_"It's okay. I'll stop if you want me too." He said rolling over onto his side, placing his head into his hand._

_"No. I don't want you to stop it's just, I've never done this and I want you to know..." Meredith said shaking._

_"Hey..." He said placing a his hand on her face. "...Don't be upset or scared. I'm glad you told me." Meredith just smiled._

_"So do you want me to continue?" He asked._

_"Yeah." She sighed._

_He began caressing her with kisses, and pulled her shirt over her head. _

_"You're beautiful Mer. Relax." He whispered into her ear as he kissed her ear._

She always felt safe around him. She felt like she could always talk to him about anything. She could _trust_ him. But now it was like there was no one safe to turn to. No one to take care of her. No one to trust. She heard a roar of a car and she looked out the kitchen window. _No._ She said to herself. _I'm just seeing things._ But she wasn't. Derek sped by the house in a second. She watched as the car turned the corner. She dropped the dish she was washing in the sink and slid down to the floor. She tucked her knees in and let her head hang. Tears escaped her face as the car went by in her mind._ Living without him... _She thought _...Is going to be one of the hardest things I'll ever do._

Living without know what made him hate her, ate her alive.

**So what do you think? Please Review! (:**


End file.
